What is a lady? 002

I have been feeling the inexplicable desire to become more of a lady. Whatever that term may mean. It seems in our generation, being a "lady" is truly a lost art. As well as having class. Now I'm definitely not the prime example of these things either, I'm just as guilty as the rest. I like burgers, naked babes, hot dogs, beer, baseball games, porn and combinations of all of the above would probably send me into a diabetic coma of pure awesome. But that's not the point.



When did it become cool to be trashy? And it is cool, you know. To be trashy. Since I hit puberty (at about 11-12) I find being vulgar and trashy kind of hilarious. What swayed me that way? What made me want to set up my first e-mail with the name vaginfection? Why did I think that's funny, and why do I still find it funny? Perhaps its not this generation that's the problem. Its possible its just girls like me who one way or another ended up choosing collecting bugs with the boys over playing house with the girls. Ive always been one of the boys. It has its advantages, but its disadvantages as well. When I was 4 years old, my best friend was a boy. All of my closest friends are boys. Ive had a few close girl friends, all of which have been disastrous in one way or the other. But that's a whole blog post waiting to happen.

Then there are sluts. They get their own category. In which, there are several sub categories. Too many to get into today. That also needs its own entry. Id like to focus on the unwed mothers club, as I like to call them. They re servers at chain restaurants, 23 year olds who live at home and go to community colleges, bar hopping, bargain shopping skanks who are quite funny if you get a chance to be around. I despise girls like this, who put margarita happy hour before their own children, but I do find them amusing. They're a guilty pleasure of mine. They're generally under 25, wear disgusting fake nails, and collect child support from their baby daddy who lives two counties away and is the manager at a local Papa Johns. They seem lady-like and coy when you first approach them. Then their mouths open and the secrets out. They sleep with 70% of their co-workers and wear matching outfits with their toddler daughters. They drive like assholes and don't bother to strap their little demons into their car seat, but do have a "Baby on Board" sign hanging from their back window. They tend to band together in groups, which is why I like to call them the unwed mothers club.

I don't know what point I'm trying to get at, but I guess I'm just pointing out how unladylike us ladies can be.

It is astonishing what photos people will upload to their myspace. It's time to start asking ourselves (and others) Have you no shame, taste or class?

I can answer for myself.
Fuck no. Bring on the porn and beer. But I will try and remember to start crossing my legs and shit.