Button button who's got the button? 003

I mentioned previously that I smoke a lot of pot. I grew up in California, and I think my views on marijuana are more laxed because of this possibly. Well that and my parents openly smoked and grew the stuff around me. They had acquired a medical marijuana licence when I was about 12. What medical problems they had back then, still escape me though. In California, when I say everyone does it, I really do mean, everyone. And if they don't, they're okay with you doing it. Even the cops around there are relaxed about it. You can have up to a gram on you and not even get a ticket! I guess its just because California is full of hippies.




Anyway, since leaving California and moving to, of all places, Utah, I realized how relaxed California is on the whole marijuana subject. Utah is a Mormon state, and though there are plenty of tokers here, the Mormons really do frown upon marijuana use. I guess Joseph Smith wasn't a stoner or something. Oh well. ( I would like to mention I have met plenty of Mormon's who are closet stoners. Plenty.) Here people are more into pills. They don't call here Happy Valley for nothing! The Valley is full of desperate housewives poppin Prozac who day dream of an escape from their dull family and pottery barn decor. I like pottery barn actually. But just sayin.



Well anyway, Ive never really been ashamed of smoking weed. Just like I have no shame drinking a beer. Honestly, alcohol gets me way more fucked up then weed ever has. Recently my friends wanted me to come space cruising with them. Which is taking a drive while smoking a bowl. Which is code for a really good way to get pulled over and fucked up the ass by some Salt lake Mormon highway patrol you just drove past going 10 over the speed limit and didn't even notice. Oops. Quick, you better try and eat the eighth of Grandaddy Purps you just picked up, or we are all going to jail tonight.


Of course there are limits with weed, just like anything else. And I have tried to cross said limits when I was younger, and gotten myself so high that I sat in front of the t.v. for about 3 hours watching a Ronco Showtime Rotisserie infomercial while stuffing my face with tortilla chips and salsa. Come to think of it, I have been known to do that sober a few times too, so I guess that really isn't a good example.

Id like to get into all the government spread propaganda on marijuana that started in the early 20s, 1919 to be exact ( when marijuana was legal and alcohol was not! omg ! ) But honestly I'm probably too stoned to make it legitly coherent and I will end up looking like more of an idiot pot head than I really am. But really, just look at that government issued flyer to the right. Notice all the needles? Seriously, when was the last time you shot up some pot? Haha, this photo is a prime example of said propaganda. I think deep down Im really just a hippie with all my commie views.


Well my little snail trailers, Ive got a bong load that needs finishing and an episode of Jersey Shore that desperately needs watching. Until next time bitches.

Peace and Love my little babies,

Agent Fail

What is a lady? 002

I have been feeling the inexplicable desire to become more of a lady. Whatever that term may mean. It seems in our generation, being a "lady" is truly a lost art. As well as having class. Now I'm definitely not the prime example of these things either, I'm just as guilty as the rest. I like burgers, naked babes, hot dogs, beer, baseball games, porn and combinations of all of the above would probably send me into a diabetic coma of pure awesome. But that's not the point.



When did it become cool to be trashy? And it is cool, you know. To be trashy. Since I hit puberty (at about 11-12) I find being vulgar and trashy kind of hilarious. What swayed me that way? What made me want to set up my first e-mail with the name vaginfection? Why did I think that's funny, and why do I still find it funny? Perhaps its not this generation that's the problem. Its possible its just girls like me who one way or another ended up choosing collecting bugs with the boys over playing house with the girls. Ive always been one of the boys. It has its advantages, but its disadvantages as well. When I was 4 years old, my best friend was a boy. All of my closest friends are boys. Ive had a few close girl friends, all of which have been disastrous in one way or the other. But that's a whole blog post waiting to happen.

Then there are sluts. They get their own category. In which, there are several sub categories. Too many to get into today. That also needs its own entry. Id like to focus on the unwed mothers club, as I like to call them. They re servers at chain restaurants, 23 year olds who live at home and go to community colleges, bar hopping, bargain shopping skanks who are quite funny if you get a chance to be around. I despise girls like this, who put margarita happy hour before their own children, but I do find them amusing. They're a guilty pleasure of mine. They're generally under 25, wear disgusting fake nails, and collect child support from their baby daddy who lives two counties away and is the manager at a local Papa Johns. They seem lady-like and coy when you first approach them. Then their mouths open and the secrets out. They sleep with 70% of their co-workers and wear matching outfits with their toddler daughters. They drive like assholes and don't bother to strap their little demons into their car seat, but do have a "Baby on Board" sign hanging from their back window. They tend to band together in groups, which is why I like to call them the unwed mothers club.

I don't know what point I'm trying to get at, but I guess I'm just pointing out how unladylike us ladies can be.

It is astonishing what photos people will upload to their myspace. It's time to start asking ourselves (and others) Have you no shame, taste or class?

I can answer for myself.
Fuck no. Bring on the porn and beer. But I will try and remember to start crossing my legs and shit.

Great, another blog. 001

I'm 21 years old, and bored to death. I let social anxieties get in the way of ever having legit friendships, I'm slightly addicted to the internet, and I like to smoke a lot of weed. I hate to admit it, but I've been slacking this past year. Well lets be honest, these past 2 years. I'm generally awkward in social situations,and I constantly talk shit about people in my own head. I want to have friends, but I think I push people away.


I like french fries, beer, hiking, shopping, restaurants, road trips, cupcakes, fruit, motorcycles, gardens and vintage cars. I want to be more of a lady while still being one of the boys. I want to learn how to knit and restore cars. I want to better the enviorment but my recycling skills suck. I want my house to look like Martha Stewart lives here but I'm too lazy to clean. I know that I am full of contradictions. Oh, and the m key is broken on my keyboard. As well as the apostrophe key. It really pisses me off. So here's to another attempt at a blog. This one is different, I promise. Stay tuned for obnoxious rambling, restaurant reviews, weird photos, and whatever else i feel like putting in here.